Ever wonder what pulses through the head of a true genius? Well, I wonder about it all the time. That’s why I sat down with Hao Nguyen—fiction editor here at The Greensboro Review—and threw a few questions her way. Without further ado…
This is Hao Nweayen. Did I pronounce that right?
No. It’s okay.
[Laughing] I’m so sorry. We’re off to a bad start. Pronounce your last name.
New-yen.. It’s actually Nguyen, but I’ll say New-yen..
I’m going to start blushing. What’s one thing—
That’s good. I like to make you blush.
What’s one thing you like about being an editor?
I like reading stories. So I’m pretty happy to read a whole bunch of stories everyday. It’s my dream job to sit and read all friggin day.
When you’re reading stories, what, if anything, are you looking for?
I’m looking for a story that can transport me because if it does not transport me, I am bored. So I have to believe in that world and be fully in it. Otherwise, I get very critical very quickly.
What are your pet peeves when it comes to submissions?
Asian stereotypes. I’m just the wrong editor for that sort of thing.
Do you find that you run into them often?
We’ve only run into 3 out of four hundred so far. I also hate stock female character whose sole purpose is to be sexy for the male protagonist. Or to be elusive for the male protagonist.
So do you find that if a female character is sexy in an introductory scene, do you find yourself cold to her to begin with?
No.
To the writer?
No. It has to be… I give benefit of the doubt for the first couple pages, but after that, I’m very reluctant to read on. I hate pursuit stories.
That’s right.
Where the man pursues the woman and the woman doesn’t have any kind of character. It’s just about how hard it is to be a guy. Like those self-pitying pursuit stories.
If the story you’re reading were a person, what would your relationship to he/she be?
Interviewer. Like for a job interview.
Ok. That’s much better than my answer.
Your answer was fine! Yeah but, you know, I’m cordial enough,
You’re asking questions where the story’s going from the get-go?
No, for the first couple pages, I’m willing to let them take me on a ride, but if there’s no ride present and I’m still sitting in my chair then that’s when I won’t turn the page. But I like—yeah—I feel like an interviewer where I’m judging and looking around but if they win me over, I want to be their buddy. Then I’m like that sidekick. Like “Let me be your friend”. If I don’t like the story, then I’m like that mean girl at a party that won’t talk to you… you know, yeah. No, maybe mean girl at the party isn’t the right thing. No, I’m the loan officer that’s politely telling you, “No friggin way”. Your credentials or your credit report that is your story does not pass. No offense. Sorry, next please.
Lastly, If you could have a super power, what would it be?
I think I want to be—you know the invisible girl in the fantastic four? She has the lamest powers, but then in one of these comic series, she could make force fields in people’s minds and thereby explode their heads.
Oh?
But yeah, she could be both invisible and create force fields so like--
That’s pretty morbid.
Yeah. But I mean she’s protecting too because of the force fields. Right?
Okay. And when did you realize you wanted to explode people’s brains by using force fields?
When I started working with Benjamin Klinkner. I was like, you know what would solve this work situation? Force field brain blowing power.
It would come in handy?
It would come in extremely handy.
You were actually lurking around the office this morning as opposed to “banking” and you were trying to figure out where to put the force field in my brain?
Ben, little do you know, I already plotted out—
So it’s just a matter of expanding—
The amygdala, the center of fear. I would stress it first.
All right, then.
